If you want to improve your communication, start by improving your listening. Our listening improves when we practice active listening, which is neither more nor less than a participatory process in the construction of the argument of the person who is speaking to us, therefore it is not about keeping quiet as if we were statues, but what is going on beyond passively absorbing the information that the other gives us.
Active listening involves, paraphrasing, asking for more information, commenting. and give feedback.
Paraphrase
Paraphrasing is saying in our own words what we have understood from what the other tells us. This allows us to verify that we have understood and assimilated the information correctly, at the same time it allows the other person to qualify the information if it is not correct. To make the paraphrase we can use introductory phrases such as: “what you said is that”, “what you mean then”, “from what I understand”, “what happened was”, “in other words you mean that … . ”
When we paraphrase there are several benefits in communication. One of them is that the other person feels heard and understood and therefore feels better. Another benefit is that paraphrasing helps us keep the other’s message in memory to manage information more efficiently. It also allows us to avoid mistakes and misunderstandings and at the same time prevents us from putting communication blocks to work.
Ask for information
Asking for information consists of asking questions to gather more details about what they are telling us to have a clearer and more specific message about what the other person thinks and feels. On the other hand, asking questions informs the other person of our willingness to perfectly understand the message that he wants to convey to us.
commenting means expressing our point of view regarding what the person has transferred to us. It is about expressing honestly and sincerely what we think and what we feel about your message always expressed with kindness.
Feedback
Feedback, all active listening implicitly involves bodily communication. When we listen, our body informs the other about our willingness to listen, therefore the messages that our body emits must be consistent with this willingness to listen.
The basic signals of body language in active listening are based on maintaining eye contact, therefore looking the other in the eye is essential for them to know that we are listening. At the same time, our body leans slightly forward without implying an invasion of the other’s personal space. We also nod our heads while the other speaks and thus we inform him that we listen to him, we understand him and we want him to continue his argument.
Therefore, if you want to have better listening, pay attention to blockages to avoid them and introduce the three strategies to improve listening in your communication.
